Friday, 28 February 2014

Mrs Misfit Tries to have Sex in Winter



Suffering from yet another cold and keeping her distance as waved her husband goodbye from the front step, Mrs Misfit pondered upon what intimacy they had shared during the cold winter months.

It occurred to her that sex,or indeed any real intimacy was difficult in winter if not impossible.

There was the obvious problem of the cold. The cold that gets into every nook and cranny, The cold that, being on a budget took hold of every corner of the house when the heating was perpetually turned off. The cold that even left her wearing warm clothing in the shower.

The possibility of sex lessened considerably when addressing house attire. What would normally be clothes worn on a country walk now became the norm for a night in front of the TV. 
It was no surprise that the ardour they may have felt on their way to bed did not last long enough for the removal of their many layers...
There was no chance at all of making mad passionate love whilst swinging from a chandelier (though this was unlikely at the best of times and highly overrated, usually resulting in re-plastering the ceiling rather than sexual pleasure)
In fact, sex in general was reduced to a preoccupation with locating and maintaining the duvet rather than locating and maintaining erogenous zones...
In short, Mrs Misfit concluded that sex in winter was a difficult affair subject to the perpetual bouts of flu, trying not to get near each other for fear of passing on germs and the endless battle with preserving one 's own body heat.

Mrs Misfit was determined to break the mould resolve this problem...

When her husband came home from work that evening he was forced to strip naked and be thoroughly decontaminated on the front doorstep...
This process was repeated every night for the next few days,much to the shock of the neighbours.
Finally, germ free, no snot, no fever, Mrs Misfit managed to have sex in winter...
And did not stress about where the duvet was!
 
 

 
 



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